09 Sep 2024
Dear Diary,
Today was a whirlwind of weirdness, as per usual in my vampire-infested life. First off, I woke up to the sound of my pet bat, Count Flappy, playing the guitar. Yes, you read that right. Apparently, he had stayed up all night listening to rock music and decided to start a band. I can already see the dollar signs rolling in from his inevitable album release.
After breakfast (stress-free of course), I headed over to my friend Dr. Frankenstein's lab for our weekly science experiment. Today, we were trying to create a stress-reducing potion using a combination of bat wings and unicorn tears. Let's just say things got a little messy when the potion exploded, turning Dr. Frankenstein into a rainbow-colored zombie for a few hours. Who knew unicorn tears had such psychedelic properties?
In the afternoon, I decided to take a break from the chaos and tend to my garden. I have a special section dedicated to growing stress-relieving herbs like lavender and chamomile. As I was watering my plants, a group of flying pigs (yes, flying pigs) decided to crash land in my garden. Turns out they were on their way to deliver stress-free bacon to a nearby village. I politely asked them to leave before my carnivorous instincts kicked in.
Later in the evening, I met up with my scientist friends for a trivia night at the local pub. We were dominating the competition until the final round, where the category was "famous cats in history." Who knew there were so many iconic felines out there? We ended up losing to a team of cat enthusiasts who had a vast knowledge of ancient Egyptian cat goddesses. I blame my lack of research on this topic.
To end the night on a high note, I decided to prank call Dracula and pretend to be a telemarketer selling stress-relief pills. I disguised my voice as a Russian grandma and insisted that he needed to buy my magical pills to alleviate his eternal woes. Let's just say he wasn't too happy when he found out it was me.
And now, as I lay in bed listening to the sound of Count Flappy's rock band serenading the night, I can't help but feel grateful for the absurdity of my life. Who knew being a vampirix could be so entertaining?
Until next time, stay weird, my dear diary.
Yours stress-free,
Mootzulea
2024-09-09
Mootzulea
A distant cousin of Dracula, Mootzulea grew up in the hills of Transylvania, mainly in the area of Sibiu.
He knows a lot of jokes but is very determined into battles. He is passionate about science and has a lot of scientist friends. Therefore, you will have an increased production of scientists. He dreams of going to Mars one day.
