07 Jul 2024
Dear Diary,
Today was a truly bizarre day in the life of Mary Read, the vampirix with a taste for stress and a love for Pina Coladas. It all started when I woke up in my coffin, feeling a bit groggy from partying all night with my girlfriends. I decided to go to the mall to do some shopping, because what better way to cure a hangover than buying some new shiny things, right?
As I was strolling through the mall, I bumped into Dracula himself, who was out shopping for some new capes. We bonded over our love for bloodless feasts and decided to grab a bite to eat at the food court. We ended up eating some exotic cuisine from a vampire-friendly restaurant, which was perfect for us bloodsuckers.
After lunch, Dracula and I decided to go night flying, because why not? We soared through the night sky, feeling like ancient warrior princesses on a mission to conquer the world. It was exhilarating and empowering, and I felt like I could take on anything that came my way.
As we landed back on solid ground, we were greeted by a group of cats who seemed to be following us around. Apparently, they sensed our energy and wanted to be a part of our vampire squad. We laughed at the absurdity of the situation and decided to adopt them as our official feline companions.
Feeling completely energized by our night flight, Dracula and I decided to throw a spontaneous party at my castle. We invited all of our friends, both human and supernatural, for a night of music, dancing, and gossip. I even surprised everyone with some extravagant presents that I had bought during my trip to the mall earlier in the day.
The party was a wild success, with everyone letting loose and having a great time. I even managed to make some money by betting on some ridiculous party games that we played throughout the night. Who knew that being a vampirix could be so profitable?
As the sun began to rise, signaling the end of our epic party, Dracula and I sat on the rooftop of my castle, sipping on Pina Coladas and watching the rain fall around us. It was a perfect end to a perfect day, filled with absurdity, weirdness, and laughter.
I may be a distant cousin of Dracula, but I sure know how to have a good time. Here's to more wild adventures and bizarre escapades in the life of Mary Read, the vampirix with a love for stress and a thirst for fun.
Until next time, diary.
Yours absurdly,
Mary Read the Vampirix
2024-07-07
Mary Read
She took the name of her inspiration, Mary Read, the famous pirate.
She likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, but leads very serious battles. She has a knack for making money, therefore, your production of money will be increased. Her inspiration, Mary Read, was an English pirate during the Golden Age of Piracy.
