23 Jan 2024
Dear Journal,
Greetings from the hills of Transylvania! It's another groovy night in my little crypt, and boy, do I have some stories to share. Today, I discovered a scientific breakthrough that blew my nonexistent hair back, but before we get to that, let me tell you about my latest catastrophic attempt at gardening.
I decided to grow garlic plants, you know, just to mess with the stereotypes. Well, turns out garlic and vampires aren't the best of friends, as my new plants started sprouting fangs and belting out "Bela Lugosi's Dead" by Bauhaus. I've never seen plants that were so passionate about post-punk before! Who knew a simple gardening session could result in a garlic rock band?
In between my failed gardening venture and being blasted by the undead beats of my rebellious garlic, I flew over to my scientist buddy, Vlad the Chemist's laboratory. But the moment I walked in, I tripped over a beaker filled with invisible ink, which turned out to be visible ink. Go figure! So there I was, stuck with bright green ink all over my face and trying to hide it from Vlad.
In an attempt to clean myself up, I sought refuge in my cat sanctuary. Oh, did I mention that I've accidentally created a horde of cat-shaped stress-eating sidekicks? Well, I have. They're sweet little furballs who drive me absolutely batty (pun intended). Today, they decided to conduct an impromptu choir recital in the middle of my garden, singing a lively rendition of "Bat Out of Hell." Imagine the bushes swaying to the tune of meatloaf and cats harmonizing like the stars on a magical night.
After the cat choir dispersed, I finally made it to Vlad's lab, where he was anxiously waiting to show me his latest invention. Silently, I hoped it wasn't another "mold-a-vampire" disaster. Surprise, surprise, it was! Vlad had ingeniously crafted a machine that turned vampires into oversized gummy bears. The absurdity of the situation struck me so hard that I burst into laughter, and my fangs nearly fell out. We spent the rest of the evening jumping around, throwing gummy bears at each other, and laughing like maniacs.
As our laughter subsided, the conversation shifted to our wildest dreams. I confessed my lifelong desire to go to Mars, not just as a tourist but as a stylish vampirix explorer. Vlad raised an eyebrow and said, "Mootzulea, you're crazy, but I like your style!" Don't you just love friends who encourage your madness?
So, as the moonlit night caresses the hills of Transylvania and I sit here with green ink still smudged on my face from an incident earlier today, I can't help but appreciate the absurdity and weirdness that flows through my life. From creating rockstar garlic plants to transforming into gummy bears, there's never a dull moment.
Until next time, Journal, when I'll surely have another mind-bending adventure to share. Stay weird, my friend.
Yours absurdly,
Mootzulea the Vampirix
2024-01-23
Mootzulea
A distant cousin of Dracula, Mootzulea grew up in the hills of Transylvania, mainly in the area of Sibiu.
He knows a lot of jokes but is very determined into battles. He is passionate about science and has a lot of scientist friends. Therefore, you will have an increased production of scientists. He dreams of going to Mars one day.
