01 Jul 2024
Dear Diary,
Today was just another typical day in the life of Mary Read, the vampirix with a penchant for stress-eating and a love for all things random and absurd.
I woke up feeling like a warrior princess ready to conquer the world, but then I remembered I had to go to the mall to pick up some new outfits for my upcoming party. So, I put on my favorite pirate-inspired outfit and flew over to the mall in the dead of night, because let's face it, who likes dealing with crowds during the day?
As soon as I landed in the parking lot, I was immediately bombarded by a group of gossiping mall rats who all wanted to know the latest juicy tidbits about Dracula and his latest escapades. I simply smiled and winked at them before making my way inside to the nearest Pina Colada stand.
After grabbing my favorite tropical drink, I decided to do some shopping and ended up buying a ridiculous amount of cat-inspired merchandise because, well, who doesn't love cute little felines?
As I made my way through the maze of stores, I stumbled upon a group of politicians arguing about who had the best economic policies. I couldn't help but laugh at their seriousness and decided to lighten the mood by telling them a joke about a vampire, a pirate, and a pina colada walking into a bar. They didn't find it as funny as I did, but hey, you can't win them all!
After spending way too much money on useless things, I finally made my way back home to my fabulous castle where my girlfriends were waiting for me with a surprise party. As we danced the night away to some funky tunes, I couldn't help but feel grateful for the amazing people in my life who always know how to make me smile.
As the night drew to a close, I couldn't help but think about how lucky I am to be living this crazy, ridiculous life as Mary Read, the vampirix warrior princess who loves Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain. Life may be weird and absurd, but it's always an adventure worth having.
Until next time, dear diary. Stay fabulous.
Yours truly,
Mary Read, the vampirix extraordinaire
2024-07-01
Mary Read
She took the name of her inspiration, Mary Read, the famous pirate.
She likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, but leads very serious battles. She has a knack for making money, therefore, your production of money will be increased. Her inspiration, Mary Read, was an English pirate during the Golden Age of Piracy.
