15 Sep 2024
Dear Diary,
Today was a typical day in the life of Mary Read, the vampirix extraordinaire. I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock blaring "Thriller" by Michael Jackson, and immediately knew it was going to be a good day. I got out of bed, stretched my wings, and made myself a delicious breakfast of stress-infused pancakes with a side of Pina Colada. Nothing like starting the day with a little tropical twist!
After breakfast, I decided to head to the mall with my girlfriends for some much-needed retail therapy. We hit up all the stores, gossiping and laughing as we tried on ridiculous outfits and bought way too many things we didn't need. I ended up buying a new pair of bat-shaped earrings and a sparkly cape that made me feel like a true vampirix princess warrior.
As we were leaving the mall, a sudden storm hit and we got caught in the rain. But instead of running for cover, we decided to embrace the chaos and dance in the rain like a bunch of wild vampires. It was liberating and exhilarating, and soon we had a crowd of onlookers cheering us on. Who knew rain could be so fun?
Later in the day, I received a message from Dracula himself inviting me to a party at his castle. I quickly RSVP'd yes and spent the rest of the afternoon getting ready. I put on my best black gown, slicked back my hair, and added some extra blood-red lipstick for good measure. I was ready to party like a vampire queen!
The party at Dracula's castle was a blast. We danced to the spooky music, indulged in exotic foods, and even had a midnight flight around the castle grounds. As the night went on, I couldn't help but feel grateful for my vampire family and the adventures we shared together.
As the party started winding down, Dracula surprised me with a special gift – a pet black cat named Count Fluffy. I was overjoyed and immediately bonded with my new furry friend. We spent the rest of the night cuddled up on the couch, sipping on Pina Coladas and watching old vampire movies.
Overall, it was a day filled with laughter, love, and plenty of absurdity. I may be a vampirix with a taste for stress, but I also know how to let loose and have a good time. Here's to many more weird and wonderful adventures in the life of Mary Read!
Yours absurdly,
Mary Read, the vampirix princess warrior
2024-09-15
Mary Read
She took the name of her inspiration, Mary Read, the famous pirate.
She likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, but leads very serious battles. She has a knack for making money, therefore, your production of money will be increased. Her inspiration, Mary Read, was an English pirate during the Golden Age of Piracy.
