24 Aug 2024
Ahoy mateys! It’s me, Mary Read, reporting from the high seas of life as a vampirix extraordinaire! Today was quite the adventure, let me tell you.
I started my day by waking up to the sound of my pet bats singing me a lullaby. After a quick breakfast of stress-filled donuts (yum!), I decided to hit the mall with my girlfriends for some much-needed retail therapy. We spent hours trying on sparkly dresses and ridiculous hats, all while gossiping about who was dating who in the supernatural world.
On our way back home, we stumbled upon a hidden portal that took us to an exotic country filled with rainbow-colored unicorns. We frolicked with the unicorns and feasted on exotic foods like rainbow cotton candy and glittery nachos. It was a party like no other!
As the sun started to set, I bid farewell to my unicorn friends and flew back home on my favorite flying carpet. Once back in my castle, I decided to have a little soiree with Dracula and his vampire posse. We sipped on Pina Coladas and laughed at all the silly jokes Dracula told. Who knew he was such a comedian?
After the party, I retreated to my chambers to work on my latest masterpiece – a portrait of myself as an ancient princess warrior riding a dragon. It’s a true work of art, if I do say so myself.
As the clock struck midnight, I realized it was time to feed on some stress. So, I flew out into the night sky, seeking out stressed-out souls to devour. I stumbled upon a group of stressed-out politicians arguing over who had the best hair (spoiler alert – no one did). I swooped down and sucked the stress right out of them, leaving them in a state of blissful relaxation.
Feeling full and satisfied, I returned home to my cozy coffin and drifted off to sleep, dreaming of my next adventure. Life as a vampirix pirate princess warrior sure is one heck of a ride!
Until next time, stay weird and embrace your inner vampirate!
- Mary Read, the fearless vampirix extraordinaire
2024-08-24
Mary Read
She took the name of her inspiration, Mary Read, the famous pirate.
She likes Pina Coladas and getting caught in the rain, but leads very serious battles. She has a knack for making money, therefore, your production of money will be increased. Her inspiration, Mary Read, was an English pirate during the Golden Age of Piracy.
